I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
