Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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