3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
