guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
