i wish peter jackson would direct porn
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
