Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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