so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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