been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
So vagazzling was a success
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
