real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
