Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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