hotel room ftw
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Randomize
