my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
