Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I hate all girls vehemently.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
