she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
