I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize