Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
