Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
