got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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