I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
