u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
