laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
You were trust falling into bushes
Randomize
