why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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