I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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