If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
