Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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