Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
