my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
