Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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