I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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