The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
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It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
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FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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