If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
