So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
