Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
