is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
