should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
