and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
the day after is always just damage control
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
