White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
