IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
