he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Randomize
