If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
