woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
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