ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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