i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
