You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
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No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
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So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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