I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
