Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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