Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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