I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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