i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
This is classic penis vs brain.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
