you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
