How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
