i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.