Texts From Last Night

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  (802): View more from Vermont

  PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.

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  (802): PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know. http://tfl.nu/g6tj
  Replies (13) Good night (3969) Bad night (782)
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.

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  (606): I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now. <3 Russia http://tfl.nu/k3de
  Replies (72) Good night (6605) Bad night (803)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.

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  (801): I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight. http://tfl.nu/gp42
  Replies (11) Good night (4721) Bad night (1028)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Worst stoner tragedy.

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  (262): I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo. (715): Worst stoner tragedy. http://tfl.nu/7uyr
  Replies (41) Good night (1919) Bad night (6405)
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  (209): View more from California

  I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life

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  (209): I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life http://tfl.nu/mnvk
  Replies (11) Good night (5266) Bad night (727)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.

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  (720): The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in. http://tfl.nu/itcs
  Replies (34) Good night (1961) Bad night (5253)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.

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  (615): Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can. http://tfl.nu/eowl
  Replies (16) Good night (5520) Bad night (1256)
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  (862): View more from New Jersey

  That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light

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  (862): That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light http://tfl.nu/4kbw
  Replies (6) Good night (872) Bad night (2674)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  So squirting runs in the family.

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  (603): So squirting runs in the family. http://tfl.nu/x29o
  Replies (16) Good night (4008) Bad night (1455)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Glad to hear you raised your standards

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  (720): Not even desperate vagina wants small cock. (303): Glad to hear you raised your standards http://tfl.nu/lulg
  Replies (8) Good night (2962) Bad night (857)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper

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  (303): he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper http://tfl.nu/eza0
  Replies (13) Good night (621) Bad night (2123)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Bad breakup?

  (1-410): View more from Maryland

  He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.

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  (410): Bad breakup? (1-410): He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB. http://tfl.nu/4dsn
  Replies (54) Good night (1449) Bad night (6426)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.

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  (248): He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it. http://tfl.nu/f1b3
  Replies (2) Good night (1187) Bad night (683)
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  (310): View more from California

  Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason

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  (310): Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason http://tfl.nu/dz7h
  Replies (5) Good night (543) Bad night (754)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.

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  (201): But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling. http://tfl.nu/g0mj
  Replies (1) Good night (523) Bad night (346)

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