i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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