Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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