New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
