I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
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