you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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